The Every day Pageant – 2nd Version

Our direct story in this version is put in the “human curiosity” group. So, if you are a mineral or a vegetable you may possibly as well skip this a single.


A most remarkable phenomenon happened now on Maenam Bay. A tourist of British extraction was engaged in a extraordinary exhibit of voluntary battle. The item of this wrestle was a wind surfer, a sea-going equipment that is apparently now well-liked on most significant beach front resorts. Nevertheless, a thorough search of the area archives has discovered no evidence of these types of a vessel at any time traversing our placid sea ahead of.

That reality on your own would commonly warrant front-webpage attention, but the more awesome story was, as outlined, the man’s screen of voluntary struggle.

Most of our audience know that human battle, primarily of the bodily range, is not a typical part of our day-to-day plan right here on Maenam Seaside. Therefore, the sight of this youthful British lad falling all above himself in his desperation to learn the ability of wind surfing was fairly the event of the day. To recognize that he was performing it of his possess totally free will was intellect boggling. This reporter watched in awe as, time and time yet again, the fellow would climb upon the board, grab maintain of the sail, and then tumble gracelessly into the bay.

This went on for just about two hours, and although the spectacle delivered a very good offer of amusement for these of us lounging easily out of harm’s way, it did induce some unpleasant side effects. Various spectators passed out from exhaustion just observing the outpouring of human electrical power. Someone proposed that the event, on the other hand intriguing, ought to not be considered for too extended. He felt that the hazards have been somewhat very similar to those people of seeing a comprehensive eclipse of the sunshine.The limpid bodily varieties of those people whose eyeballs experienced overindulged the scene were being eradicated from the seaside by a rescue squad consisting of three ganja-crazed Austrians–who had only a short while ago escaped harm on their own following an errant coconut had fallen fifty ft from its nest, shattering their dearly-constructed bamboo drinking water bong. That disaster notwithstanding, the Austrians displayed admirable heroism in carting the unconscious to Laem Sai Restaurant and reviving them with force-fed pineapple milkshakes.

Sports News: Seaside “FOLLY”BALL

Volleyball was the athletics du jour before this afternoon. 50 % a dozen of the nearby transients congregated beside a internet on the generally glorious sandy shores of our beloved Maenam Bay. A ball of the volleying persuasion remaining presented, our reporter settled himself comfortably in the shade and anxiously awaited the motion that he believed was confident to ensue momentarily.

The action that did ensue, nonetheless, was not, strictly speaking, on the purchase of a volleyball sport. It could be that our sports activities reporter has been much too extensive eliminated from the regular versions of athletic organization, but it was his recollection that the match of volleyball in essence included two groups on both aspect of a net, volleying the ball (a ball of the volleying persuasion, that is) more than the claimed net.

What he actually observed in this rendition was all the contestants (maybe the improper term to explain them) on a person side of the web volleying the ball randomly amid on their own. The web never ever came into participate in. In truth, it somewhat seemed to be in the way of items. For the duration of a split in the action, a single of the members, a young Italian gentleman, was duly queried about this.

“Yeah, what is with this web issue? It is in tha way all tha time.”

When it was pointed out to him that there have been many miles of internet- free of charge seashore beside the bay, he mentioned, “Yeah? Oh… nicely, we below now. Much too a great deal problems to move. Maybe tomorrow.”

Asked what activity she and her mates were being taking part in, a great-on the lookout younger French girl responded, “Do you suggest, at the minute, or in existence normally for the reason that, mon dieu, we are all playing online games, are we not? You, Bongs for sale instance, are playing a sport with me, of study course… asking absurd concern. It is apparent what video game my friends and I are actively playing, and it is obvious what sport you are striving to play with me. I am pleasant searching youthful lady as I see you publish in your notebook and you are… (regretably, at this position, our reporter’s pen ran out of ink, and so the job interview with the wonderful-wanting young French woman was terminated).

(As an editorial aside, and so as not to be accused of sexism, we would like to insert that the young Italian person was also wonderful on the lookout. We sincerely hope that mentioned comment will not guide our viewers to suspect a homosexual attraction on our element, and, of study course, by that we never indicate to suggest that there is something wrong with getting a homosexual, nor in that do we necessarily mean to alienate the morally conservative members of our readership. Gosh, this newspaper small business can be thorny.)

Anyway, the volleyball activity, these types of as it was, resumed for a further hour–and who gained is anybody’s guess.

Temperature TIS NOBLER…

… to concoct some bogus meteorological report that never essentially happened currently, or to utilize a plan of journalistic candor and acknowledge that our overall weather staff members has been blissfully unconscious considering that… was it Tuesday?

All gatherings, such as the climate, have slipped by unnoticed. We are reminded of the philosophical conundrum about that tree in the forest which fell down when no 1 was around–did it or did it not make a seem? There is surely no problem that if it experienced fallen upon the thatched roof of our weatherman’s bungalow right now, he would have been none the wiser.